Home > Television & Film > L word recap: Episode 601

L word recap: Episode 601

Lucy Lawless opens the premiere playing a lady cop who is responding to the emergency at Tibette’s house.
The reveal of the warrior princess would have been awesome had we not seen the exact same 2 minutes a few months ago on the sho.com site.  I can only hope she’s back once we find out who/what she’s investigating but according to imdb she isn’t credited in any other episodes.

Tibette and the gang are chillin’ in the living room looking seriously distraught like someone died. Blink and you might miss what may be the only appearance of the back of Max’s head all season.

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Man, I hope it isn’t Jenny…oh wait!  Well this is unbelievable…What’s that Ilene?  You can prove it? How?

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Now I’ve watched quite a few episodes of Law & Order: SVU so I’m obviously a crime scene expert and I’m  pretty sure  the proper thing to do here is to always bring the dead body out uncovered.  In fact, what they’re supposed to do is drag her body out by her feet, stand her up and make her do a dance but maybe they’re doing it in a more tastefulway or something.

It also looks like Jenny is smiling as if she’s happy to be dead.  I fully support that.

Cut to our favorite theme song of all time.  Man, those Betty chicks never have to work a day in their life and since (based on their music) they never have their days haven’t changed much. (Zing!)

Now we’ve time traveled again (like season three)  except we’ve gone backwards and I get that feeling you have when you’re hungover and you ride one of those elevators in a corporate building.  You know the ones set to skip floors that travel 600,000 mph.

Three months earlier we’re reliving the end of the last season.  Practically the whole thing sans the sex on the balcony.  So we’ve already wasted the first 7 minutes with no new content.

Much like season 3, we’re in a car chase.  Shane is chasing Jenny, Nikki is chasing Shane (or is it Jenny?) and I’m chasing my spiced cider with a hot toddy barely paying attention.  Shane tries to call Jenny on her phone and a promo pic from a previous season comes up on Jenny’s phone.  Season 3 is calling to warn Jenny to never get off that floating raft.

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They all get to the house and Jenny gets in before Shane and Nikki can make it inside.

Alice and Tasha get home and Tasha is mad for some reason I can’t remember.  Maybe it has to do with the fact that she’s been wearing the same vest for two seasons and was forced to put on ill-fitting pants.  Alice tries to talk to her but gets interrupted by phone calls.  Tasha get frustrated and starts packing her bags.  Alice tries to stop her by telling her she thought about breaking up but decided she wanted to work on their relationship.

Meanwhile, back at Chateau Crazytown Shane gets the door unlocked and is fighting with a pouty five year old (who looks a lot like Jenny) to get inside.

Bette and Tina have just gotten home and pay another five year old for watching their kid (who I suspect may be just a tape recorder playing from the bedroom) and Tina is furious about William changing the ending of Les Girls.  In the midst of telling Tina she should call and appeal to him about it they get distracted by Shane banging on the windows of Jenny’s house trying to get in.   Naturally this pulls their focus from their sick child to an opportunity to take sides about cheating.  Luckily we escape the expositions when they jokingly realize they shouldn’t talk about it.  Ah…remember when the characters were self aware enough to be funny?  Me too. Me too.

Apparently Nikki has keys to the house and lets herself and Shane in.  Shane starts apologizing and explaining but I have an aversion to characters’ bullshit dialogue so all  I hear is wawawawawawawawa.  That and Shane’s awful haircut is distracting me.  Isn’t Shane a hairdresser?  Meanwhile Nikki is sitting in the couch twittering or something.  Fed up with Shane’s crap the music gets all heavy guitar and Jenny calmly pick up the closest lamp and chucks it at Shane, calls her a piece of shit and walks away.

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But not before remembering to throw something at Nikki who has also been training with the Marines from the looks of the barrel roll she just did.

Back to Tasha and Alice deciding if they should break up.  They’re briefly interrupted by Max instant messaging Alice that he’s back before she disconnects for good.  Back from where?!  Where did he go?!  Why won’t anyone tell me?!

I have new theory.  Maybe Max got sucked into the computer and had to put on a neon light suit and fight his way back to reality. Ok that sounds right.

max-tron

Moving on.  Tasha says they have nothing in common and we segue to a 2 minute explanation of double negatives.  Alice says they do and puts on the bedroom eyes that drive me you crazy.  Tasha stays true and doesn’t get distracted by the seduction and Alice’s bedroom eyes turn into “I know we need to have more in common than that but can’t we just do it anyway. Fine, lets have some real communication” eyes.

Tibette is watching over Angelica who sounds like a radiator is exploding inside her but they don’t see that as just cause to call the doctor just yet. Whatevs.  Shane shows up at their door and tells Bette she was faithful to Molly,  Bette chuckles a little and I realize I have pants very similar to Shane’s and decide whether or not to get rid of them while Tina’s goes off on Shane about cheating with Nikki.

The next scene is a win and a lose in my head.  Win because we only see Kit “baby gurl” Porter for two seconds. Lose because she takes Helena down with her.

Back at Tibette’s Shane realizes she’s walked into one of their therapy sessions, the tape recorder in the bedroom starts yelling mommy and Shane gets up.

Alice and Tasha sound like they’re having the same conversation and begin to debate if someone gets credit for staying faithful.  Cue Shane who is now carrying her clothing is a paper bag.  I wonder where the Shenny household gets their groceries from? A still frustrated Tasha walks out to go to a friend’s, Alice goes after her and Shane should just give up and look for a shelter.

Molly is at Jenny’s and of course crazy Jenny answers in her underwear.  Molly wants to give Shane her jacket back and note she tells Jenny she left in the pocket.  Bad move Molly.  Jenny doesn’t just answer the door in her underwear.  She also hugs in them, reads notes in them,  and then hides said note in the attic next to a stack of dead bodies in them.

The friend Tasha goes to stay with is non other than Papi.  Alice asks her what she’s doing here and I wonder why no one filed a missing person’s report oh, say, 12 episodes ago.  I guess Papi was too busy organizing her reggaeton playlist and the “I’m so latin”  weekly club meetings.  Papi, if you see Carmen there will you tell her I desperately need to see her and then propose we miss her.

A drunk Jenny has called Nikki over and wastes no time shoving her tongue down her throat.  I have to say I’ve never been so bored by two girls making out before.  Nikki Stevens is such a waste of time and energy and she’s already taken up 1/2 of the episode. Yawn.

Back at Helena and Kit’s club a girl fight is about about to break out but Helena puts one of the girls in a serious hold that Nikki must have taught her when she got back from boot camp.  In resignation of finding a couch to crash on Shane pops in to get wasted and succeeds.  Kit and Helena have to pick Shane up out of a space capsule at the club and drag her out.

Alice and Tasha are at Papi’s getting closer to working things out and making each other laugh. Sigh. They decide to go back to Alice’s but only if Tasha doesn’t sleep in the same bed.  Alice does a little happy dance and I do a little girl squeal. They get back to Alice’s apartment and she’s got those glasses on and Tasha has a bandana on.  My friends realize I’m Tasha and suggest I squint my eyes and pretend I’m there with Alice.  Tasha is making up the pull out couch and Alice manages to get in and pull Tasha down with her and they’re voices crack when they laugh.

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Tasha questions her motives and I tell Tasha to shut up and let the magic happen but she resists and they just cuddle because they’re trying to kill me with cute.

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Shane is at Kit’s place drunken and distraught.  Kit explains that if she is really friends with Jenny that Shane will let Jenny know that she will fight for their homance friendship.

Cut to Jenny in bed with Nikki the next morning.  Nikki “naive” Stevens is all smitten with Jenny.   Jenny however has other plans and after lulling Nikki into a safe space proceeds to tell Nikki she’s a “self-absorbed, self-indulgent little brat”.  To Jenny’s credit that’s a pretty accurate summation of Nikki and its probably the sanest thing Jenny has said in the entire episode.

At the planet, everyone is sitting down like at a table and Shane shows up recovered from the night.  Jenny doesn’t want to sit there if Shane is going to join them and offers Tasha and Tina a drink at another table.  The obvious separation of cheaters v.s loyalists is too obvious to me and I throw up a little in my mouth.  Then i realize this scene is going on for the next 6 minute until the credits roll.

In short (courtesy of ladylezbrarian):

i need jenny to be dead again
i need jenny to be dead and take nicky with her
i need molly to come back
i need someone to fix almost everything about Kit’s hair/outfits
i need someone to stick bette and tasha in a steam room to make their hair go back to the land of curls & waves
i need someone to love alice exactly as she is and not make her have to stalk someone to be loved or get attention
i need someone to send tina  to a “get off your fucking high horse you hypocritical, uppity, useless piece of wonder bread” retreat
i need someone to give helena more screen time

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  1. January 26, 2009 at 12:35 PM

    baby gurl… I was g-chating w/ Max and he told me that yes Jenny’s dead and Xena did it…and that I should take Tasha to get her hair (hurrrr) braided.
    Anyways….There’s honestly no need for Kitt this season – we do not need sassy-a-frass when people are killing themselves….
    and was Helena on this episode???

  2. January 26, 2009 at 12:40 PM

    I meant sass-a-frass (not sassy)

  3. January 27, 2009 at 12:41 PM

    I need someone to tell Bette to keep it in her pants! 🙂

    http://deathtothelword.wordpress.com/

  4. February 2, 2009 at 8:57 PM

    HA!!! I didn’t catch that the cop was Lucy Lawless! Did you watch last night’s episode? OMG!! Did you SEE the look on Alice’s face when she discovers that Shane and Jenny have actually hooked UP?? EW!! And I loved how much laughter the other characters got out of the whole idea of Shane and Jenny! We’ll wait for the train wreck now… 😉

    • The humans are dead
      February 3, 2009 at 3:06 PM

      That interaction was pretyy much all that saved that ep for me. It reminded of the previous seasons.

  1. January 24, 2009 at 9:34 PM

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