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My L Word reaction drafts and other ramblings…

I started a recap and I just couldn’t do it.  So in lieu of a recap here are the two drafts I started and never finished.

Draft 1:

We’re in what seems to be the present where season five left off.  Shane is on The View in the interrogation room explaining to lady cop and unidentified male that she can’t pretend she didn’t think about “it”.  By it she does not mean tit and by tit she does not mean your tit. We’re left to assume”it” means killing Jenny I guess.

Shane really hates it when couples say we (we talk, we laugh, we love,  we breath, we fight, we cry, we steal the melody from the sound of music).  You know what I hate?  Unnecessary exposition.

I had no hopes whatsoever for this “finale.”  I expected nothing more than utter disappointment mixed with rage and Mama Chaiken did her best to oblige.

Seriously?!  Dude, What. the. Fuck?!

I have not one word for the craptastic shit show that blazed across my screen for an hour.  My television is internally weeping for having to display that lame ass attempt at a series finale.

Because of my love for Alice  I was very excited at the idea of a spin-off.  I could watch that woman play with legos on tv for an hour  but now I’m beginning to think the other cast members are the lucky ones because they get to leave.

Dear Ilene,

You’re a stain on lesbian creativity.   When you walk down the street women everywhere should spit on you, you’re mail-carrier should lose your utility bills, all telemarketing phone calls should be re-directed to your cell phone.

Okay I think I’ve calmed down.

Draft 2:

Dear Ilene,

Your trashtacular.

Your writing is like smearing diarrhea on paper.

The L Word has been absolutely monumental in the lesbian community and nothing can ever be the first successful drama with a lesbian ensemble again.  It has definitely made some strides in the media as far as queer content goes.  It came along during a time where gay men had more exposure in mainstream media and penetrated  it (the media not the men) during a time where lesbians (and women) are still not take seriously in the media but that is no excuse for low standards.  If I may say bluntly, everything passed season two was an utter creative disappointment to me.  The show took a serious nose dive and in my honest opinion the quality should have nothing to do with whether or not the content is gay.  Good stories are good stories.

I was appalled when a recent article called Chaiken a lesbian drama veteran.  Really this is the only gay thing she’s done (and poorly in my opinion).  Before that it was Barb Wire and couple of made for TV movies.

If anything I’ll miss the recaps I’ve  read and very particular characters  (read: Alice) more than the last four seasons..

But I will agree with Chaiken on one thing.  I was sure that when The L word was coming to a close there would be something else to take its place.  Whether that be another series or characters on shows that weren’t written off by death or relocation or supernatural forces or only touted out during sweeps.  Christ, even The Simpson’s did it.

The great thing about the queer community is that they rally behind anything queer.  The bad thing about the queer community is that they rally behind anything queer even when its terrible.

And I get it.  I know there is still a semi-invisible battle with the mainstream straight world that dictates the difference between how the queer community treats itself in front of itself and how it treats itself in front of outsiders but that’s never an excuse for supporting  poor work and lack of creativity.


If anyone has watched the interrogation videos that are being leaked on the Showtime website you’re probably feeling a fireball of angry dis-belief in your stomach like I am and if you’re not watching them , save yourself and keep it that way.  I will dedicate no more energy to writing about anything Ilene Chaiken ever does again.  I secretly hope that The Farm doesn’t get picked up because really it’s all we’ll have…think about that.

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